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Home / Counsels / Social

How do I get a husband?

Prof. `A`ishah Al Hakamy
Source: Alukah

Published On: 29/9/2019 A.D. - 29/1/1441 H.   Visited: 6190 times     


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Question:

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

 

I have read the topic entitled: "Can I get the reward of a married woman?!" in its response you said the following:

"I know very well that every girl is eager to get married, but men who are asking women for marriage not the opposite. So, do not bother yourself to win the knight of your dreams but set devotional objectives to yourself and try to reach them, perhaps these objectives can make your dream come true. So, what are these devotional objectives which I have to set to marry? Could you mention that in details? Thank you.

 

The answer:

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful, He is the only one sought for help.

Dear sister, the meaning of devotional objectives is the social, scientific, and practical objectives which every Muslim girl can pursuit to achieve the main objective. The main objective is worshipping Allah (Glory be to Him) which will lead to the facilitation of marriage and emotional and social stability as a result of acquaintanceship, social networking, and good social mixing. All these are the steps to reach the matrimonial home when Allah decorates them with success, guidance, and blessings. One of the most important reasons of marriage delay is the narrow circle of social relationships. Allah (Glory be to Him) says in the Qur'an: "O mankind! We have created you from a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another." [Surat Al Hujurat: 13] And without this acquaintanceship, girls shall have only few chances to get husbands. Hence, the solution for the problem of marriage delay lies in widening the social relation circle. The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "The reward of deeds depends upon the intention and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended. So whoever emigrated for Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him), then his emigration was for Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him). And whoever emigrated for worldly benefits or for a woman to marry, his emigration was for what he emigrated for." [Reported by Al Bukhari and Muslim with the wordings of Imam Muslim].

 

Of these goals that a person can benefit from are the following:

• Joining the centers of memorizing the Qur'an and sessions of knowledge.

• Volunteer work in orphanages and relief centers, in addition to the volunteer work both inside and outside the university.

• Searching for a prestigious job that provides an opportunity for knowing others.

• Accepting wedding invitations and showing up in festivals and various social events.

• Continuing higher studies.

 

In addition to other devotional objectives that expand the perceptions of girls, fulfill their emotions, and fill their times with goodness and blessings so that they can get the reward and achieve self-assurance. Moreover, a girl should not overlook her appearance and wearing of jewelry because it is not possible that girls who want to marry would neglect their appearance as if they are in mourning! However, if a girl works in a place where mixture between males and females are allowed, she must give up adornment and perfume.

 

If someone says: Some female employees and girls who memorize the Qur'an have not married despite their wide social circle, I say: Every harm or goodness happens to man is full of goodness to him. Every girl should ask herself about her appearance and ask herself about her manners whether they look like the manners of righteous women or not? How does she deal with people? How much attractive she is?! Does she enjoy social acceptance? Then she has to remember that her job is just a narrow social circle and social life does not stop at work places or centers of memorizing the Qur'an, so they have to widen their social circle by knowing more people.

I ask Allah by His Favor and Bounty to grant you and all girls righteous husbands who would make you happy, Amen!

Allah (Glory be to Him) is the most knowledgeable of the best and the most correct. Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, and peace be our Prophet Muhammad, his family, and his Companions frequently until the Day of Judgment.



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