I want to go back

Dear honorable Muslim brother, As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).

Welcome to Alukah Network.

I have read your message and I know your feeling because I know that sadness and worry are the worst conditions a Muslim may have; and there are some matters which I would like to refer to:

First: If a person did not commit major wrong decisions, surely he has (by the will of Allah) the ability to go back to his previous conditions and resume his life again, even the new illegal relationship can be fixed.

Indeed, believing that the coming days will be better is essential and important and whoever despairs his problems shall be complicated.

Secondly: To treat depression we have to use more than a method:

The first method is: Psychotherapy which is an effective cure if it is done by an expert. During which a healer discusses the ideas that go around in one's mind and their relationship with their feelings and behavior; this kind of depression needs time and follow-up.

The second method is: The medical treatment where modern science in recent years has arrived a set of medication that treats depression within a short period and gives effective results without causing side effects or becoming a habit or addiction.

People differ in regard of taking medical treatment, and I am one of those who do not take treatment, because of the great benefit which they have for my patient without causing any problems.

Third: Behavior is one of the matters that reinforce depression, such as loneliness and disconnection with friends and not sharing their activities. I know that you neither have the desire nor the motive to do so, but I want you to press yourself a little bit, separate between your feelings and behaviors, and get back to old behaviors even without having the desire because these behaviors will benefit you (with the willing of Allah).

Fourth: During depression we advise our patients not to take any important decisions such as moving from a college to another or something like that. Any decision in such conditions shall be affected —without any doubt— by the emotional condition which you pass through.

Fifth: Do you blame yourself for that new relationship that was established through the Internet? Do you feel bad for doing this?

I agree with you, it is not a correct thing to do, but as I mentioned, in an unusual emotional condition, we may take incorrect decisions and that will be apparent when our mood improves. Try to get rid of that relationship before it drives you to no way or to more dependence, isolation, and the need to others.

At the end, every person passes by a stage of stagnation and weakness, but soon matters change and we get back to our enthusiasm and much more if we exert enough effort to do so.

I wish speed recovery for you, success in this world and in the Hereafter, and welcome again in Alukah Network.