As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).
Dear valued brothers in Alukah Network, I ask for your advice and counsel. I am a 22-years-old girl whom Allah guided to study the Shari`ah sciences where I was graduated one year ago from the institute of Shari`ah sciences and got a diploma in Islamic studies. I pledged Allah to spread Shari`ah sciences and to benefit my nation. I set some goals such as to memorize the Qur'an and to develop useful forums because I shall be dedicated to the call to goodness.
I started in the way of Da`wah, but I stopped after my marriage. I married directly after my graduation and Allah granted me a good husband who did not stand in the face of goodness, however it is me who wasted the chance after marriage. I got pregnant -thanks to Allah- but now I have realized that I do not deserve these graces because I did not fulfill my covenants with Allah!
My delivery shall be next month -insha' Allah- and I woke up from my negligence and heedlessness because of many problems that took place between me and my husband that made me revise my situations and find out my defects. I have realized my sin which was breaking the promise to Allah and I made up my mind to memorize the entire volume of the Qur'an before my delivery because I shall be busy with the birth and rearing of my child, what do you think?
Could you kindly advise; is my thinking correct or not?
I really feel that Allah is upset with me. I have lost the softness of my heart, submission to my Lord, and my heart has become hard. I have started the way of repentance, but I do not know whether I am right or not?
I registered on the Internet and entered into the forums which I had intended to develop. I realize that I wasted many chances, but shall Allah make it up for me?
Am I on the right way?
Kindly, advise and guide me because I need
Praise be to Allah, and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family, and his Companions.
Thanks to Allah, you woke up fast and started the way of repentance. My advice to you is to define your goals and put them before your eyes and make balance between your family and call functions as Salman said to Abu Ad-Darda' (may Allah be pleased with him): "Your Lord has a right on you, your soul has a right on you, and your family has a right on you; so you should give the rights of all those who has a right on you." Abu Ad-Darda' came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and narrated the whole story. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Salman has spoken the truth."
Of the greatest things that can help you benefit yourself, family, and Muslims is organizing your time such as: Fix a time for sleep, meals, visits, sessions, seeking knowledge, entertainment, study and others.
On the other hand, you have to leave things that waste times such as frequent sleep, excessive eating and drinking, frequent visits, meetings, and speech.
Be serious and leave out delaying things, for it is a serious disease that deprives a person of the goodness of the world and the Hereafter.