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I love the doorkeeper's daughter and my heart beats when I see her

Sheikh Khalid `Abdul-Mon`im Ar-Rifa`y

Published On: 6/8/2014 A.D. - 9/10/1435 H. Visited: 7320 times

Question

The Question summary:

A young man in the middle of thirties loves a fourteen-years-old girl who is the daughter of the doorkeeper of his house.

* The question in details:

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!)

I am in the middle of thirties and I love a girl whom I feel she loves me very much and shares the same feelings and emotions but we have never spoken about the matter.

She is the daughter of my doorkeeper. I treat her nicely and respectfully and never looked at her badly for she is a polite girl, we only greet one another.

When I see her, my heart beats rapidly, and she cannot hide her innocent respectful looks; I mean: The quick looks for fear of people's misunderstanding; and this is true because we do not have any relationship. The girl is only 14 years old and I want her eagerly. However I see many girls of high level-standards but I do not desire them.

Answer

All praise be to Allah and peace be upon the Messenger of Allah, upon his family, his Companions, and those who follow him.

Let us decide that Islam only approves love in the course of marriage and if a person falls in love, there is no way to continue that love but within the framework of marriage as was reported by Ibn Majah on the authority of Ibn `Abbas who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: "The cure for a male and a female who love each other is marriage."

It is not hidden from you that love only is not enough until intellectual, cultural, social, environmental, financial, and educational equivalence is achieved. Love only between two different parties [when one of the spouses has less education] does not satisfy an emotion, particularly emotions emerged in the middle of a Muslim conservative society which refuses these relationships; so what if we add to that inequality?! You cannot declare that love or face the society which refuses such relationship, in addition to the 21-years difference between your age and hers.

Forget about that girl, do not busy her with your looks, wish for goodness to find it, renew your life, and search for a suitable wife through your relatives.

May Allah guide you to every goodness!

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