Should I accept the divorced or stay spinster?

All praise be to Allah and from Him alone we seek help.

I thank you for your great trust in Alukah Network.

In the beginning, my dear sister, it is better for you that you have not married him because you still have the main keys and you still control your own decision.

* In the beginning, seek the help of Allah (may He be Glorified and Exalted). It is good that you care for his Salah and his conditions with Allah. Likewise, your father is keen to choose a religious man.

* Second, I shall give you an example: Have you ever gone shopping and bought a dress or anything without finding the specifications you wanted but in spite of fatigue and little time, you had to buy unsuitable things without meeting your conditions and without desiring them? However, as a result of fatigue and rushing in shopping, you found yourself in another trouble which is: You have to repeat this process again to find something suitable.

This is your condition now, you want to marry someone to escape your problems which do not affect anyone but your parents, and you have nothing to do with them.

My dear sister, one of the most important factors to take right decisions is not to take them under pressure but look at them objectively.

* What are the consequences of this decision?

* What can he offer you? You may escape your family problems to fall into bigger problems, and you shall be the victim.

Before you get involved, ask frequently and tell your father and brothers to ask about him more and more.

* What are the reasons of divorce?

* How did he treat his ex-wife?

* What is his living standard? And where shall you live?

* He chats with you, so what did you agree to?

* What does he want from you as a wife? And what do you want from him as a husband? I advise you to make an agreement with him from the beginning.

* Why does he get angry as you say? Where is his promise to your father? And what are his justifications which may be convincing?

This is your future life and the life of your children, so be careful and you have to get clear answers to these questions. Do not rush things up, perhaps his delay is the outcome of your choice which you asked Allah to guide you to.

Dear sister, do not rush things up by saying: I am ready to serve his children, but you should know whether your capabilities may help you do this job or not. Be frank with yourself, for this is another matter.

Repeat Istikharah, invocation, and seeking forgiveness so as to be in the companionship of Allah because of Allah's Saying: "And whosoever puts his trust in Allâh, then He will suffice him." [Surat At-Talaq: 3].

I advise you also to develop yourself in the skills of making dialogue, persuasion, and the skills of marital life no matter it is destined for you to marry him or not, as they are lifeskills that you cannot do without.

I ask Allah to grant you success!