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Home / Counsels / Da`wah

A female student does not behave well with me, what should I do?

Asma` Hama

Published On: 31/10/2011 A.D. - 3/12/1432 H.   Visited: 6108 times     


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Question

 

I am working as a teacher of the Qur'an for some children. I have an eleven-years-old female student who does not show politeness in speech.

I drew her attention to that more than once but she did not respond, and the physical punishment did not work out with her, taking into consideration that I tried to avoid that.

I sent her home several times in order to bring her parents, but she did not do that. Two weeks later, she came, apologized, and continued to attend.

However, when she committed the same mistakes again, I sent her home again, but she stayed about two months then wanted to come back, so she asked her friends to ask for my permission.

I said to them: Let me think and get back to you. I am confused about what should I do, should I accept her or not? Some people said to me: Accept her provided that she should bring her father then you make some conditions and say to him: If she goes against these rules, I shall send her home and I shall never accept her again.

What do you think? May Allah reward you the best.

Answer

 

Dear brother, peace be upon you. Welcome in Alukah Network, and I ask Allah to guide you.

Ibrahim An-Nakh`y said: "Angels in the sky, animals on earth, birds in the air, and whales in seas ask forgiveness for the teacher of children." because of his great role in rearing children and observing patience.

As you mentioned, the girl is eleven and she is trying to draw your attention by her behavior because she is an adolescent or is about to be.

This phase has special characteristics in addition to the family environment in which she grew up as well as the way of rearing which she received.

Dear brother, physical punishment is not beneficial in such a case, but may make things worse.

As for the phase of adolescence, it sometimes needs leniency and other times it needs strictness, but not harshness that is represented in the physical punishment. You should have a dialog with her and not giving her direct commands because punishment and direct commands make her insist on her bad behavior, her impolite words are out of stubbornness, desiring to prove herself.

It is beneficial to speak to her father only if he is wise in rearing and dealing so as not to harm her or force her to attend the lesson.

A Muslim should learn the Qur'an and its sciences out of desire in the reward of Allah and out of devotion for Allah, not out of fear from the father or the teacher.

She has to realize the virtue of the Qur'an and its effect on her life to respect her teacher. Allah (may He be Exalted) says: "Verily, this Qur'ân guides to that which is most just and right." [Surat Al Isra': 9].

It was authentically reported that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Any group of people that assemble in one of the Houses of Allah to study the Qur'an, tranquility will descend upon them, mercy will engulf them, angels will surround them and Allah will make mention of them to those (the angels) in His proximity.''

I think that she comes to learn Qur'an forcibly; therefore she does not observe its right nor the right of its teacher.

Dear brother, be a good example to her by your good-manners which are the morals of the Qur'an in order that she enjoys what is learning and feels the great blessing and its impact.

Finally, I advise you, dear brother, to observe patience and seek the reward from Allah (Glory be to Him) for the trouble and fatigue you face.

May Allah grant you success and reform your conditions and the conditions of your students.



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