A cry of a handicapped: Do not show pity for me

Have you seen a handicapped before? How did you feel when you saw him? Did you feel sorrow and pain for his condition then that sorrow turned into pity and mercy for that handicapped which reflected on your face and heard in your voice?!

If you have done so, you are committing a major offence toward him and you made him see the things which he misses in life triple and the blessings in which he lives would turn to be worthless. He wants to look at the bright side of his life but you want him to see the dark side. He does not want anyone to show pity for him because he sees his disability in that mercy and pity as if he is deprived of every blessing and as if his life is full of inflictions and defects. He sees the blessings of Allah but when people look at him with that merciful looks, he forgets these blessings in which he enjoys.

If we want to do a favor to handicapped, we would turn this pity to encouragement, show the hidden energies in himself, clarify the way for him, and explain to him that Allah has granted him more favors. We can also teach him self-content, make him adapt with his condition, and open for him the gate of hope which is already open but we close it by our merciful looks.

Many people of us suffer many breakings and few victories, and the problem is that when a person starts to count the failures of his life, Satan seizes him and fills his heart with sadness. One of the most important matters which Satan seeks is to fill the chest of man with sadness and despair, and sadness is the way for those who want to leave their work. He would look at life with a dark spyglass in trivial matters which can easily be fixed, so how would it be in shape when a person looks at the missing blessings, he feels sad and his heart breaks.

Showing mercy to the handicapped or pity for them has many types that are manifested when a handicapped associates with people. When he wants to walk into a street, some of them would say: Watch out. And when he wants to go in or out from a foundation, they would say to him: Watch out so as not to fell on the ground.

A handicapped notes the looks of mercy when he enters into people's gatherings although the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Do not look lengthy at the lepers."[1]

The problem is: People do not feel what is going on in the handicapped's mind of pain and feeling of discrimination. People think they do well to him, and if they knew, they would not show it and conceal it in their hearts without being explicit on their tongues. What will harm the people if they show gladness instead of sadness and turn their frowning into glad tidings and their frustration into encouragement? Who should tell them of that problem which is only known to those who suffer it?!

We need to deal with this problem which is curable but its impact is great and its harm is dangerous, so the cure lies in the following steps:

1- Observing the feelings of the handicapped and not to show pity for him.

2- Good words.

3- Encouragement.

4- Endeavoring to merge them into society.

5- Qualifying them from young age to learn a profession.

6- Treating the handicapped like other normal people.

I have simplified the problem, so shall I find listening ears or attentive hearts?!

This problem needs reconsideration to our behavior, how should we treat the people of special needs, how to merge them in society, and how to remove hindrances between them and society.

                        

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[1] Sunan Ibn Majah (2/1172), Dar Ihya' Al Kutub Al `Arabiyyah wal Hadith edition, No. 3543, and Sheikh Al Albany graded it as authentic.