I have neglected the affairs of my husband and my children

I used to love study and excelled in it because I felt that knowledge is a great blessing given to man in order to learn, understand, and promote himself, then worship Allah according to that knowledge.

After a while, I married a religious man who loved me and I loved him. I begot nice kids who were the rejoice of my eye, and that time I was working. My mother was taking care of children until her health became weak, she grew old, and she needed someone to take care of her.

I asked myself, how should I act? Should I leave my job, which I mastered and loved, or leave my kids for someone to take care of them? I said to myself: What is wrong with that? Many families hire servants.

My husband agreed reluctantly because he wanted me to leave the job and dedicate myself to children, especially since his income is sufficient for the family, moreover, he does not take anything of my salary. So, we called one of the offices which provide these services and demanded a maid, provided that she should be a Muslim. He advised not to have a Muslim maid because non-Muslims take lower salaries, but we insisted on having a Muslim maid to be sure and keep our kids safe with her. So, he brought us a Muslim maid, but she did not speak Arabic, but she spoke English.

I praised Allah for the maid who shall be with my kids when I am busy at work. I also praised Allah more because she was not pretty so that my husband would not have an eye on her. I know that he is religious, straight, kind, and loves me so much because I am his beloved wife and the mother of his kids.

Many houses are not free of one maid or more; some of them are true Muslims while others embrace Islam for a purpose. Some of them are from different religions and some are irreligious and have different cultures and ideas which are instilled in the brains of our kids because they sit with them all day long as well as parts of the night until I return home or until celebrations or meetings end, whereas mobile has become a mean for checking on kids.

She became the maid and the cook for my husband, the one who ironed his clothes, and the one who took care of all family affairs. She woke the teenager in his room, helped the girl in her affairs, taught English to kids, sometimes she would solve homework, prepare sandwiches and put them in the kids' bags, and she became the nurse who brings medicine when someone feels sick.

She used to play with the kids and cared for them, therefore, I felt happy with that and after I had intended to give her responsibility of taking care of them during my work, I began to depend on her to raise them up. I became lazy, especially when I saw her connection with the kids and her tireless service. One day, which I will never forget, there was a wedding ceremony of one of our relatives and I told the kids that we are all going and shall leave the maid. The kids refused to go and insisted on taking her, so I agreed after I had noticed their interest.

On one occasion I found my daughter crying, I went to check on her, but I found the maid embracing her and wiping her tears. When I asked the servant to go to fetch a glass of juice for my daughter, my little daughter refused to let her go, went with her, and left me alone. Since then I wondered: Who is the nearest to my children and more beloved to them, me or the maid?

At that time, and without thinking, I decided to leave my job because I have another job which was no less important, namely, raising my kids. Kids should take first priority because that is the job which draws me near to my Lord and brings me reward for doing it. The Messenger of Allah  (peace be upon him) said: "Being good for one's husband equals Jihad in the cause of Allah."

Parents should know that Allah granted them a trust which they should preserve and responsibility which they should bear as the Lord commanded and the Prophet (peace be upon him) instructed. Allah also threatened those who neglect their responsibility and those who do not render the trust.

Ma`qil ibn Yasar Al Muzany said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) saying: "Any man whom Allah has given the authority of ruling some people and he does not look after them in an honest manner, will never feel even the smell of Paradise." In another narration: "Did not combine it with an advice, he will never feel even the smell of Paradise."

As we raise them to good deeds, we forbid them to do prohibited matters. The reward of actions done by kids is given also to the one who taught and encouraged them. As for committing of sins, kids are not held accountable for them, but the fault will be on those who let them do sins.

Therefore; it is not reprehensible that parents raise their kids to obedience, which is part of courage and stop them from doing evil things, such as wearing gold or silk for men, or females' wearing to male clothing, lying, theft, verbal abuse, immorality, and other sins. It is not reprehensible that parents raise their girls to modesty, chastity, and non-mixing; because anyone was raised to something will continue doing it.

Therefore, I made up my mind to fight my desires and raise up my kids as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "All of you are guardians are responsible for your subjects." O Allah, you have all praise and kingdom; in Your Hands is all good and to You shall return all affairs, whether public or secret. Indeed, You have all right to be praised and to be worshipped for you are All Able over all things. Praise be to All and no might nor strength save in Allah.