Duties Of The Muslim Mother

The primary duty of the Muslim mother is to make every effort to persuade her children to abide by the teachings of the Qur’an and the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet. Many are the Muslim women in non-Arab countries who devoutly recite Qur’an in Arabic each morning without the slightest comprehension of its meaning. Many are the more religiously inclined girls, especially those who have enjoyed a modern education, who read Qur’an, Hadith and other Islamic literature as if these were merely some noble, abstract philosophy. Not for a moment would it occur to them to abandon attending dirty films at the cinema, listening to vulgar songs over the radio and singing them automatically or going out to mixed social functions in tight, immodest dress. Muslim mothers should tell their adolescent daughters and sons that just because all their friends at school or college are doing these things, they do not become right. Muslim women must read Qur’an and Hadith so that its instructions are practically implemented in their everyday lives. Too many Muslim households keep their copy of the Qur’an wrapped up in a beautiful silken cover on a high shelf merely to gather dust. How these hundreds of thousands of idle Qur’ans must be making their silent plea: “Oh take me out! Read me! OBEY me!”

Mothers are accustomed to reading in women’s magazines that they must simply accept the violent rebellion of their young against long-established moral and religious values, their foolish, obnoxious behaviour, and their irresistible attraction for the trivial and frivolity, their utter contempt for all that is “traditional” and their impatience for revolutionary “change” ---that is, atheism and materialism - as an inherent biological fact of modern adolescence and youth and that nothing can be done about it except abjectly resigning oneself to the prevailing trends. This is utterly fallacious. There is nothing inevitable about this, much less are all efforts to resist as absolutely hopeless as current propaganda would have us believe. Our youth are naturally reaching to what they have been taught in their homes, in their schools and colleges and what they read, see and hear in the mass-media. If these taught the Islamic way instead of the Western way, they would feel, think and behave entirely differently. In creating this essential transformation, the woman as the decisive influence upon her growing child can perform a crucial role.

Islamic teachings on Purdah (hijab) demand that the women lives in privacy and dignity and spend most of her time at home, only going out when compelled by necessity or perhaps occasional visits to relatives or female friends. The best influence a mother can exert on her growing children is to set a good personal example. A mother who is always diligent in her household tasks, caring for, supervising and disciplining her children and who keeps busy with Salah, Qur’an readings and other virtuous works, provides the most favourable Islamic atmosphere for the young child which will greatly help off-set the multitudes of undesirable influences he will encounter as he grows up. Mothers should start Islamic education for their children at the earliest age. The Hadith tell us of children of the Sahabah who were reciting Qur’an even before they were weaned! As soon as a baby begins to speak, he should be taught the Kalimah, and such Islamic expressions as Bismillah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, inshaAllah, mashAllah, Salah etc. and as soon as he is able to stand and walk, he should be encouraged to imitate her (as all toddlers love to do) when she is saying her Salah. When children reach the age of seven, mothers should insist that they say their Salah regularly and punish them after the age of ten if they fail to do so. Thus children should become accustomed to performing their duties to God and to their fellow beings long before puberty. Observance of these duties should be accompanied by a simple and clear explanation of their significance according to the age and intellectual capacity of the child. She should entertain her young children with the thrilling deeds of the great Muslims past and present and try to inspire them with the desire to emulate these virtues. When the child is old enough to read, the mother should make freely available around the house Islamic books and pamphlets appealing to children and encourage him to read them for himself. Older children and adolescents should not only be told not to go to dirty films at the cinema or listen to useless programmes over radio or television but explicitly what is wrong with them. If the mother owns a radio or television set, she should restrict her listening to Tilawat, news bulletins, good poetry recitations and healthy educational programmes. Under no circumstances should she permit “pop” music to be heard in the house because this is the worst possible moral influence on the children. If ever children start singing these vulgar songs they have heard and learned from neighbours’ radios and television sets, she should hush them and tell them how ashamed they should feel to be heard singing such dirt!

The Muslim mother must on no account ever consent to sending her children to Christian missionary schools or convents where they are totally alienated from their religious and cultural heritage although she must realize that the Government national schools do not provide a much happier solution. She must supplement this materialist education with instruction in Arabic, Qur’an and Hadith from private tutors at home if she can afford it or in the mosque if she cannot and with such Islamic training as she herself can give. She should carefully read all her children’s textbooks and point out to them that much which is taught to them is not correct and even false and evil and she should explain why it is so in the most convincing manner.

The Muslim mother should try to make her home within her means an attractive place. Most Pakistani homes I have seen here in Lahore, even of middle-class people, are dingy and dirty. Too many Pakistani women I know have the dirty habit of continuously littering the floors of their homes, particularly the courtyards and kitchens, with garbage and rubbish. They would rather live in filth than sweep it up themselves. Islamic education should teach girls cleanliness and orderliness. Women should not feel ashamed to clean and sweep the house themselves. They should not depend upon servants always to do it for them. If she is prosperous, the Muslim housewife must be convinced of the necessity to avoid any ostentation or wasteful spending on the house; expensive unnecessary furnishings like Western-type sofas, dressing tables, and useless knick-knacks should be avoided. Artistic calligraphy from Qur’an and Hadith hanging on the walls of her rooms should serve a double purpose of decoration and above all, the reminder that this is an Islamic home! Photographs of family or friends should not be framed or displayed since showing these pictures is contrary to Islamic teachings. An Islamic education should teach girls at least the rudiments of hygiene, first-aid and good nutrition with instruction on how to prepare tasty “Halal” meals. Many Muslim women are so ignorant of the rules of good nutrition that they do not know how to feed their children adequately even when the proper kinds of foods are easily available and they can afford them.

An illiterate and apathetic woman cannot possibly counteract the anti-Islamic influences which are harming her children day and night. Only an intelligent, educated and enthusiastic Muslim womanhood can prove equal to the tasks which confront her now.