I am a failure girl in almost everything. I hate and despise myself to the extent that I have tried to commit suicide more than once! I feel that everyone hates me, what should I do? Help me!
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
My dear daughter, As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!).
In the beginning, I would like to welcome your joining to Alukah Network, and I invoke Allah, the Almighty, to grant us success in presenting all that benefits you as well as all visitors.
There is no doubt that the feelings you have such as frustration, sadness, and despair are based on causes gained from previous situations with others, especially with friends and family members around you.
Therefore, my dear, I advise you to do two important things to deal with your current problem as well as the future problems, first: You need to review your reaction in painful situations that you passed through and analyze your words and behavior, and even your gestures to others. In order to achieve success from this strategy, you must have a full imagination to the situation and sensations of others, and imagine their feelings in those situations. The application of these steps help you understand the attitude of others toward you, as it helps you to recognize your spontaneous attitudes and behavior, but it can irritate others, especially if these steps naturally and objectively.
Likewise, you should do the same steps with the situations that led to failures and made you are a loser. Hasten to recognize the points of negligence and the actions which you had to do first to avoid falling into the same errors again, not for blaming yourself.
The other thing which I advise you with is: Not to give up to these feelings or exaggerate in them. Your words which you used to describe your condition, and wishing suicide reflect your total surrender to these feelings instead of facing them and knowing their causes and the way of cure.
I hope that you remember that you are still in the prime of life, and the difficult conditions which man faces in this stage or others may turn in the future to a source of power as a result of gaining experiences from multiple experiments.
Finally, I conclude with invoking Allah (Glory be to Him) to expand your chest, enlighten your insight, open the gates of goodness to you, and make you useful. We will be pleased by hearing your good news.