My husband hates me

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

Wa `Alaykumus-Salam wa-Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh (peace be upon you).

My dear sister, in the beginning I would like to welcome you to Alukah Network, and I ask Allah (may He be Exalted) to guide us in offering what is beneficial to you.

I would like to appreciate your eagerness to keep an intimate and strong relationship with your husband, and your love to him is conspicuous. I wish that you invest these positive advantages to restore your good relationship with your husband.

My dear sister, it becomes clear from your message that you had a fight and its bad consequences affected you badly. It is not wise that a person discloses all his inner feelings to someone, especially if he is involved with those feelings because it may cause problems.

In spite of that, your husband told you about his intention of marrying another woman if something happens to you or to his first wife. Perhaps your husband wanted to arouse your jealousy to feel your severe love to him.

However, no doubt it will lead to other problems that may reflect on your feeling of instability and psychological comfort.

As for you, my dear, I find that your reaction was over and unjustified and I hope you accept my words because they will restore your previous life.

I wish you sit alone and analyze the whole situation and go back to the conversation. Imagine that you answered him calmly and reminded him of his love to you and to his other wife.

He should feel the loss because he has lost his wife and his life companion. Imagine that you handled the situation that way without blaming him, what would be the response of your husband; not only in your conversation with him but also in forming his impression about your personality and thoughts?

My dear sister, this short and simple response should be your method in life and in dealing with your husband and others. Emotional balance and wisdom are the control of your good conduct and sound interpretation.

I find that you have missed good interpretation and misjudged the situation by entitling your message (my husband hates me) as if it has become a reality, whereas the matter is not but an anger at your speech.

Therefore, I wish you try again and be kind with him, do not discuss with him what happened because it may have a negative impact in this period.

Therefore, it might be better now that you quit debating with him about that problem or about his current situation. Do not show your upset of his current behavior, taking into consideration your responsibilities and duties without affecting the baby's health and condition.

I advise you to occupy yourself with something pleasant to you such as one of your hobbies which do not require an effort that may affect your health, or dedicating part of your time for a positive activity that you like.

If the situation continues for a long time, which is a low probability if you do the previous steps, you may ask him to discuss your current situation without prior judgments or questions about what he thinks, what he feels, or what he wants? Focus your conversation on: Error is a human instinct but having strong determination not to repeat it and accepting the display of each other's defects are the factors which rectify and correct the human personality and reinforce his successful relationship with others.

Do not forget the importance of invocation, and beseech Allah to grant you the love and intimacy of your husband because hearts are between two fingers from the fingers of the Most Gracious.

Finally, I conclude with the following invocation: May Allah reform the relationship between you and your husband, grant you intimacy, mercy, and good offspring. As I ask Him to make you beneficial to the people, and to hear good news from you.