Islam and Love

The Messenger of Allah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam speaking about his wife Khadija, said: “Verily, I was filled with love for her.”

Mawahdah – love/intimacy

Wa rahma – mercy

1. Love: The definition

As a noun:  

Strong and positive emotion of regard and affection

 Passion

 Any object of form or affection

 Beloved

 Dearest

 Sexual love (lust and desire)

 Love making

As a verb: Liking for someone; having great affection

A feeling of intense affection given freely without any restriction

Love exists in all persons either with sensibility (for all people) or passion (strongly excited or a particular person)

2. The Nature of Love

Hub – Love

Ishq – deeper love and becomes obsessive and commit haram deeds.

Love is a human sickness (Psychological)

Spiritually: natural instinct

Sacrificial love – religious love (ex. Allah)

Muslim Scholars – Al Jaahab/ Ibn Qiyah in the book of Al Nisa (book of women) say the difference between Hub – which they think is natural and Ishq is something intellectual, going beyond for what they desire.

Muhammad Ibn Dawood – Al Zooah Speak about the 100 qualities of Bin Udrah on how they exercised love in their life.

All scholars share the same theory – about similarities of two people

Datul hadif – long conversations; hugging; kissing

Arabs say – the eye is the white gate into the heart

The three pillars
- Attributes of the beloved one
- Feelings of love - intention (you have choice) and inclination
- Relationship similarities between two people

4 steps to develop love:
- Using your eye (sight of heart). You should not describe another woman to a married man
- Admiration – to various characteristics
- Obsession – thoughts of future, logistics
- Building hope and establishing commitment – if you don’t then you are looking for haram things

3. The categories of love

Natural love/passion

Rational/religious love

All forms of love are parallel unless one does not surpass the other (this become shirk)

4. The signs of love

The broadening gaze

Directing the conversations to a beloved one

Resemblance

Engage in a playful tug of war – breaking plates

Opposite do attract

Sometimes they fight – it is a sign of love

Hurrying to their locations

Happy/cheerful when close

Weeping

Dec. sleep and appetite

5. The ruling of love in Islam

Love is not in your hand, it is in Allah’s hand

Surah Al-Imran – desire to love from women. Men to women and vice versa

Those who don’t love are the people who are hard as rocks.

They are two types

 Optional – leads to love; sudden look

 Natural - how you are going to react to this will be asked by Allah

From the Sunnah of Prophet (Peace be upon him)...

Ibn Majah: A man came to Rasulallah and said that "Yah Rasulallah, we are taking care of an orphan girl. A man came and said that two men came and asked for the hand in marriage for the orphan girl, one rich one poor, but she loves the poor man. He said that "we liked the rich man". The man said "who should I choose?" Rasulallah told him to allow the girl to marry the poor one. The mate should not be judged on their status, or wealth.

Amr bin Aas came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) after he gave Amr the commander of an expedition, and asked, "O Rasulllah, who is the most beloved to you amongst all mankind?" Rasulallah said, "Aisha". Amr said, "Then?" Rasulallah said, "Her father" (Reported by Sahih Bukhari)

Fatimah, daughter of Prophet (may Allah be pleased with her), came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) and said for him to be just with the other wives. The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said that, "I love her (Aisha), so love her too". Fatimah said, "I love her".

Az-Zuhri said: "the first love recognized in Islam was the love of the Prophet (Peace be upon him) for Aisha"