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Home / Counsels

My cousin abandoned Salah and her condition was deteriorated

Counselor: Areej Al-Tabbaa

Published On: 19/9/2010 A.D. - 10/10/1431 H.   Visited: 3510 times     


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Question

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you!

 

Could you kindly help me in my trouble?! My 17-years-old cousin has been successful at school and loved by her teachers. She used to recite the Qur'an and read useful magazines, such as: Al Mutamayyizah, Hayat Albanat, and suddenly three days ago she began to sing loudly, abandoned Salah, started to do strange things, such as: smashing objects, tearing up her clothes, having  her hair cut, and started to say strange words. That case took place before in the family but she did not know anything about it because she was a child.

 

Sometimes, she says that her elder sister is the one who is talking and not her. So, we took her to a psychiatrist with no avail, then we brought a sheikh to treat her and when he recited some Ayahs, Sheikh said: she was bewitched.

 

Could you kindly advise?

Answer

As-salamu `Alaykum warahmatullah wabarakatuh (May Allah's Peace, Mercy, and Blessings be upon you)

 

First of all, we appreciate your concern for your cousin because it is a good quality that a person shows concern toward his family and be loyal to them; may Allah give you full reward and make your deeds solely for Him.

 

In fact, your counsel is not clear enough and lack a lot of details, but I will try to answer according to what I understood, and if you need more details in the answer send us more details in the question.

 

You are saying that your cousin is suffering a sudden behavioral reverse and its causes are still unknown.

 

To analyze these causes we have to know that there are clear things which we can search for and do our best to solve them, whereas there are superstitions, such as sorcery that cannot be predicted even if we have the means that help us to come over them.

 

It seems you have family problems that you did not speak out in your question which maybe one of the causes or her relationship with her elder sister to whom she attributes these claims maybe the cause.

 

Anyway, you have to strengthen your relationship with her without over protecting her because excessive concern and over protection make things become worse instead of solving them, in most cases.

 

You should give her the feeling that she is able to get over her problems, for Allah made a cure for every disease, and there is no affliction but has a wisdom and a lesson behind it.

 

Allah gave us reasoning and will to overcome hardships that block our way despite the hardship we endure.

 

As for your cousin's problem, she has to focus on physical solutions instead of superstitions where strengthen her relationship with Allah will help her a lot, no matter she is bewitched, psycho, or it is just adulthood troubles.

 

Human soul inclines naturally to a super power to lean against and extracts power and help there from, and you shall find no powerful nor greater than Allah to help her against itself.

 

The matter will not be easy but needs striving against oneself, frequent forgiveness, and starting a new life according to the faith, piety, and having trust that there is no harmful or beneficent but Allah. All hardships and trials we have been through are just afflictions that we have to fight with the means we have and by looking at the clear causes that we have instead of hanging with unclear superstitions. Therefore, in the beginning we have to search for the apparent causes.

 

To help her you should be closer to her and realizing her feelings. You can effectively help as much as you understand her character and needs.

 

Scientifically, the sickness she is suffering is a form of hysteria, and these kinds of hysteric characters like to draw attentions by senseless impressions to attract attentions.

 

Furthermore, sudden change maybe one of the hysteric indications because within three days she could attract the attentions by illogical way.

 

In this case, the best solution is: Do not pay more attention to her but in the same time give her indirect attention, stressing that Allah has given her capabilities and merits to get over this problem. You may remind her with her qualities to help her get back to normal, taking the matter seriously away from superficiality because hysteric characters incline to superficiality and need to trust that Islam is the drive for behavior and the acts of worship are not superficial acts but need trust in Allah.

 

Hysteric characters care for feelings, therefore, it is better to focus on the emotional aspects as being a drive along with connecting them with Allah.

 

In case you feel that her condition is more complex that it really seems, you should take her to a psychiatrist to diagnose the case. You should know that the effect of psychotropic drugs do not show up during the first weeks and take a while to affect; of course reciting some Ayahs do not contradict medicine because both are permissible cure.

 

Finally, you should believe that case is a trial from Allah to test your hearts, so do not let it a cause for your frustration, but whenever the test is difficult, the more reward you receive.

 

As for being sorcery or something of the like, I have no much knowledge about this and I did not find clear indications to differentiate sorcery from psychiatric diseases. So, why do we resort to unseen justification while we have the material means? We do not negate sorcery but we have to trust that the Qur'an is enough healer to such things .

 

Sorcery plays an effective role in troubling humans but it does not prevent the people from the acts of worship, Salah, or drawing near to Allah. Frequent reciting to Surat Al Baqarah, drawing near to Allah, and having trust in Him are from the reasons that help you get rid of all psychological diseases.

 

May Allah guide you to the best way to assist her, and we are waiting to hear good news from you.



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